If Being A Christian Means...

Last night I read the most compelling depiction of a Christian ever. It made me close the book, sigh, turn off my light, settle into my pillow and pull my comforter up nice and snug and whisper, "now THAT makes me want to be a Christian!"

I am finally wrapping up A Generous Orthodoxy and McClaren's chapter, "Why I am Incarnational" moved me like none other. I won't attempt a trite summary of a very long, complex and provocative chapter, but I will highly recommend that anyone with frustrations about or dreams for the church read this book and this chapter in particular.

I believe I am beginning to see redemption in a very different light, in a broader context, through a much wider lense. I can be a Christian if that means that it is sinful for me to consider myself superior to my neighbors of other religious traditions. I can be a Christian if that means that my "prime directive" is to love the God of the universe and be transformed so that I can, in turn love all of his creation, with the hope of the priviledge of participating (however minimally) in his work of redeeming his creation. I can be a Christian if that means that participating in God's work of redeeming others is inextricable from his work of redeeming me. I can be a Christian who shares her faith with someone of another faith, if humility requires that I be open to what I can learn from theirs as well (my own redemption). I can be a Christian if that means that I am redeemed by the God of the universe, following the way of Jesus, humbled by God's limitless means to reach the hearts of all men, of all faiths and cultures. If that's what being a Christian is about, I can do this.

On Sin...and other stuff

It has been a while since I've had anything to say about what I am discovering along this journey.

I have tried to pack God away in a sense to see if there were any way possible to do life without Him (it wasn't a deliberate as it sounds -- but hindsight is 20/20). Here are some of my efforts:

1. Stopped Going To Church - as IF that's the only place he is and as if by avoiding it, I could avoid him. Hasn't worked.
2. Stopped Praying - this has been an interesting attempt. I already have never had a conventional prayer life. I connect best with God through writing, that's how I "pray best", or at least deepest and most authentically. So, I put down my journal because if I write, I can't successfully avoid him.
3. Stopped Reading the Bible - I gave this up a while ago. I became so angry with how I perceived its use in the church (and disgusted, quite frankly) that I turned on it. I decided that I needed a break to decide for myself what I believe the Bible is (and to separate that from what I was experiencing) before I try to pick it up again.

The one thing I haven't done (which seems like it would have been the most obvious) is stop hanging around his people. They are the one's I felt I was reacting so strongly against. I have remained surrounded by and intimately connected to Christians throughout this process. But, not the Christians you would think. I've been around Christians whose marriage has survived infidelity and sex addiction and child sexual abuse; and around singles who are struggling with sexuality and with dissatisfaction with "doing church" just to please those around them; and with Christians whose marriage is teatering on the threshold of an affair; and who have been divorced and are now re-married. Christians who yell at their kids sometimes, curse and get frustrated, who question their own motives as racist or sexist or selfish. In short, I've been interacting with Christians who sin! Imagine that-- a group of Christians who are authentic, who have been honest with themselves and with me about the logs in their eyes. Christians who love God and are learning what it means to be his child and sit at his feet and wait as he works on his masterpiece. These Christians have refreshed me and inspire me today to want to engage with God again (although none of my efforts at avoidance have really been successful). God has been and is pursuing me, in spite of me, no matter which turns I take.

I realize that when studying theology one is usually encouraged to do it "systematically". Well, my order of things is probably a bit unorthodox in that I'm going to skip over some areas that I haven't finished developing to get to a conclusion I've come to today.

On Sin...

Man is fallen and as such will consistently and creatively sin. We are in a relationship with our Creator who allows us to know truth, examine our life in light of that truth and walk through the phases and stages of life's ups and downs with him so that we are transformed.

I believe the Gospel invites us to be transformed (as opposed to bullies us into looking sinless, by classifying sin as "acceptable" and "unacceptable", and thereby driving our sin underground where it becomes more incidious and life-destroying).

I am SO grateful for friends who are Christians and understand both the nature of man and the nature of sin; and who get what it means to be in the process of transformation. I am thankful...no, more than thankful....I am deeply blessed, richly loved and daily shown "in the flesh" what His love is like for me through their patience with own transformation.