Amazing

Amazing is a word that is over-the-top overused nowadays. But it is the only one I can think of as I stand in awe of my God. Words are so limiting. I am certain that He is amazing in ways our finite minds can not comprehend.

Today I am reminded of how utterly creative He is and that He most definitely is not a one-size-fits-all God. Here’s why. My greatest fear in life is miscarriage. It may seem completely irrational. I have never been pregnant and at this point in my life, have no plans for pregnancy at all. But I fear losing a pregnancy more than I fear losing my own life. It is a nightmare to consider, arguably my worst nightmare. Yet, yesterday I sat in the emergency room with a dear friend who was experiencing a miscarriage. For her, it was an experience of God’s amazing grace towards her. She walked away from the experience more convinced than ever that her faith is in a God who’s real and who really cares about her.

And what’s more amazing is that God put us in the experience together. He put me face-to-face with my worst fear. And he put her with someone who was more afraid of what was happening to her, perhaps, than she was. When she cried out in pain and said, “Alexis I’m scared”, all I could say was, “I’m scared too. Let’s get you to the hospital.” If I were God and running the show, I never would have sent her me.

God calls us sheep. I’m guessing that’s not because we’re cute and cuddly. It probably means we’re dumb and desperately in need of guidance every step of the way, because what makes the most sense to us will get us killed or drive us far away from moments that we could never craft for ourselves in which he reveals himself to us in amazing ways. I am convinced that we can not find our own way in this world, no matter how much we want to. This life is bigger than me, an individual, and my plans for my individual life. I am convinced that our lives are connected in ways we can’t fathom and that are part of God’s purpose.

I was confused about where to post this today, so I’ve put it in both places. As much as this experience was about friendship it was about faith. I’m even more convinced today that God is with me in this journey.