On Rhetoric and Zombies

My brother is a musician. He was raised in church like I was, but he didn't really start going to church as an adult regularly until between his marriages. Now, he's still all of the musician he's ever been, but he also plays at his very multi-cultural church. It's interesting to see his talent cross genres. Last night I went to see a gospel music stage play he and a life-long friend of his produced. His friend wrote and directed the play, and my brother wrote and composed all of the music and is the music director. I was proud of both of them.

I had mixed feelings about going to see the play. Obviously, this is my brother, so of course I was going to go and support him. I love him to pieces. But I can't stand gospel music stage plays. I feel, with everything in me, that if you've seen one you've seen them all. They appeal to an audience I have not been a part of in a very long time. An audience I don't care to be a part of ever again. And then, at the same time, I worried that somehow being in this atmosphere again would make me feel guilty for choosing not to attend church at this point in my life. I doubted that it would go that way, but I wondered if I too would succumb to the emotional hooplah.

Part of my frustration with the church (and if I'm to be completely honest, this issue speaks to my frustration with the Black church in particular) is that I observe such a mindless, unintelligent following. I don't mean to imply that the people who attend these churches are mindless and unintelligent, rather I use those terms to describe what I perceive to be their approach to participation in the church. I have a problem with anyone who behaves a certain way simply because it's what's expected in a particular place at a particular time. I am not one to clap because the minister says clap, or because the music cues a particular response. I'm not going to yell, "Hallelujah" because someone in the pulpit tells me to. And I certainly will not "get behind" a preacher who is yelling and whooping absurdities, just because he reaches the emotional high point of his sermon where this type of response is expected. Sometimes I wonder if the congregation is even listening to the words the preacher's saying at all. Preachers say some pretty ridiculous things, even about what the Bible supposedly says. I am always amazed at the things folks in Black churches will sign on to and agree with without thinking about them first. I think it's sad and detrimental. It perpetuates this blind following.

As much as I hope gospel music stage plays seek to parody this type of behavior, I usually notice a disconnect between the intention and the response of the audience. When I see a preacher in a gospel stage play whooping and hollering, dancing and shouting across the stage while he's singing his sermon and rifting on every third word, I recognize the parody that it is. I think the majority of the audience recognizes it as such and laughs. It's funny. He's never saying anything particularly substantive or enlightening. Actually, he's usually saying something quite absurd. But there's always that core group of blind sheep who fall into step with the requisite audience/congregation response. Sometimes I think the audience is playing along with the parody, but just when I assume that, something happens to confirm that these folks are serious. It makes my blood boil. How can otherwise intelligent people be so programmed?

Last night was no exception. I like the play and I must say, my brother's closing number was quite a hit. He's released it as a single and I hope it does well, despite the fact that it stirs up more negative emotions in me than I can count. It basically says that "a family that prays together, stays together". I'm not opposed to that sentiment necessarily, but I'm not at all convinced of it's truth. The point of this post isn't for me to dissect such a statement, so I won't. Suffice it say though, that it's this type of thing to which I refer when I say that I don't think people really think about the church rhetoric they propagate. Rhetoric (religious or otherwise) is such an influential component of Black culture, for better or for worse, but I think we all have a responsibility to individually think through these things before jumping on a bandwagon. I think this song will do well because it's familiar rhetoric. It's catchy and there's a whole market for that. I hope, for his sake, it sells well.

Maybe I think too much. I was notorious for refusing to sing quite a few worship songs and hymns because, in my opinion, the ideas were ridiculous. I can't think of a single one at the moment. Ah, songs that says stuff like, "You're all I need. Jesus, you're all I need.". Well, um, no. That's not true. I need water and air and food and shelter and ... you get my drift. In the same way, there are love songs with messages I abhor. Like Macy Gray's I Try:

I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

I hate the sentiment of this song. I need you to be a little less codependent and be able to survive without him. And there are so many like this. Angie Stone is famous for them and I can add countless others. Now, do I refrain from listening to these songs or singing them and dancing around the house with my Zune when the come on? NO. They're funky tunes and they're fun to sing. When I'm jamming in my apartment I want to be mindless and unintelligent. I want to let my hair down and be able to jam to the song without paying all that much attention to the words. I require more from church. I just do. It's supposed to be worship. I find it hard to worship someone I'm lying to at the same time. Maybe lying to someone is some folks' way of worshiping. I guess it's called flattery. I don't know. It just doesn't work for me.

So, I left the play unaffected. I was as certain as I've been for this last year or so, that church isn't where I want to be right now. Not until I find a place that reinvents the idea in a more intelligent, non-rhetorical, non-programmatic, zombie-clone creating way.

I'll let you know when I find it.